


Bucky Barnes Does NOT Run A Phone-Sex Line.

by Tony Stark Of Midgard (CallmeIronman)



Series: In Which Steve Is A Little Shit. [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Crack, F/M, Funny, Humor, M/M, Multi, No Slash, Well - Freeform, kindof slash I guess, stupidity at its best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4871524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallmeIronman/pseuds/Tony%20Stark%20Of%20Midgard





	Bucky Barnes Does NOT Run A Phone-Sex Line.

The first time it happened, it was midnight. bucky (until that point) had been soundly sleeping in his Manhattan apartment. rubbing hair out if his face he answered.

 

"hello?" 

 

"Hey baby, I want a lesbian three way with whipped cream lube and dildos, big ones." Bucky pulled the phone away from his head and stared at the screen. The caller ID said unknown.

 

"Excuse me? I'm not doing that." The voice on the other end laughed.

 

"this is a phone sex line bro, you gotta." 

 

"This is not a phone sex line. This is Bucky Barnes" an awkward cough sounded on the other end. 

 

"Hey dude, I'm sorry I uh. I'm Clint by the way, so um, yep." The end tone rang out with finality. _The fuck?_ Bucky thought.

 

+

 

the second time caught him in the bathroom. Bucky recognized this number. Silently he answered the phone, afraid to speak.

 

"since I had boobs last week on a different line I. Want. Dick. Lots of dick like ten gallons of dick slapping around." slapping sound followed the statement. Bucky refrained from laughing

 

Barely.

 

"Stark?" Bucky held the phone away from his ear at the bellowing laughter.

 

"ohmygod! i spoiled both the virgins! Oh shit, I feel bad. Hehehe" he hung up chortling. Bucky couldn't deny that he laughed his ass off as well.

 

+

 

"Guys. 69ing. Go." 

 

"Natasha Romanov." 

 

"Well fuck, you're not the number I meant to call." the line went dead before Bucky could ask why everyone thought he was a sex line operator.

 

+ 

 

"um, hi I'm Bruce and uh I've never-" 

 

"Banner, don't do this." bucky was about to ask the man on the other end if he was okay, it sounded like he was choking. The line went dead before he could.

 

+ 

 

Bucky was both relieved and horrified to see Steve's number show up on his phone. 

 

"This is Bucky." The soldier said cautiously. Steve's voice sounded suspiciously amused.

 

"Gotten many call someone lately?" Bucky's eyes widened. 

 

"What did you do!?!" Steve's laugh was loud and obnoxious through the phone.

 

"I definitely didn't give the avengers the number of a hot phone sex line anonymously." Bucky's phones creaked ominously as he squeezed it. 

 

"Why the hell would you do that?" 

 

"To prove that I'm not a perfect Boy Scout." Bucky almost laughed. _I might actually kill him_. He thought.

 

"hey Bucky, I gotta go okay? You've got a call coming in."  Bucky started to protest.

 

"Steve no wait!-" the line was dead. "Fuck!" steve had been right. A call came in barely a minute after Steve hung up.

 

"... Speak" the booming voice could only belong to one man-er, god.

 

"Is this the line of copulation I was told of?" Bucky's phone was crushed in his hand before Thor even got his request out. 

 

 _its official. I am going to murder that little prick._ Bucky thought sourly. 


End file.
